Should you say "no" to your child?

One day a nice couple was telling me that they were not going to say "no" to their child. They had read that it would be bad for the child to always say "no" and that sometimes children only end up hearing no all the time. 

They had seen problems with overuse of the word "no". So they weren't going to use that word. 

They tried talking to their child, gently explaining things. They reasoned with him. They hoped he would forget things when they removed them. Diligently they sought to avoid that word. 

Later, a few months down the road, I heard them saying, "No Sammy, No Sammy, No. No, don't do that." What had happened?

They had a strategic minded child, a very smart boy who'd learned to push their limits. It hadn't been working. After a long period of trial, they had learned to use the word "no". 

Was it working? Well, not really. They were now saying "no", but didn't give any consequence, not even a small one as a motivator, not until things got really bad. Then they'd do something like send him to his room. 

There's no need to be excessive on the word "no". Try to suggest things they can do, or another time they can do something, or word some things in a different way. 

There's also no need to avoid the word "no". Keep in mind that the word, "no" alone won't be enough. The child is watching to see what will happen if he does that, after you just said "no". Your action is what will help him choose if he will do that or not. 

Try to use reasoning, but when needed, say a simple, calm, quiet, but firm, "No", and then support that with a reasonable consequence if they do what you said not to do.